In the "Phew! We Were Soooo Worried" Department

From NYDN:

The White House can relax. You may have heard about the videotape that allegedly showed thong-baring Jenna Bush down on all fours and doing Da Butt dance at club NerveAna. We're told that the tape, which every print and electronic tabloid wanted, has mysteriously disappeared...

So who do you think beat the shit out of the photographer? The Secret Service or Karl Rove?