Not That Blonde And Stupid Must Go Together...

[Ed. note: I live with a natural blonde (or so he says ::cough::) from a short line of MIT nuclear and metal engineers.]

But The View's Elizabeth Hasselbeck now not only believes she can engage in critical thinking (even if she can't spell it) and that Rosie is a force of one trying to bring her - and the smiles on the troops faces while being shot and bombed at - down. No, Bimbette also believes Dick Wolfe of "Law&Order" fame is out to get her.

Of Catfights and Clintons and Cretins - Part 2

[Update on Dizzy Lizzy here. Part 1 of this post is here; Part III here.]

Let's start with Rosie, Elizabeth, and the myth of the "cat fight".

Slice away from last week's so-called catfight on The View between O'Donnell and Hasselbeck and the only thing you're truly left with is the very post-9/11 Bush Administration's "loyalty oath" TV style dedication to the Bush "vision" for empire. Sorry, boys, there's just very little evidence that such a phenom (where a guy sees two women start to speak crossly to one another while the guy is riveted, hoping the two women suddenly kiss instead of argue.) has any truth as its base.

The media could not stop playing the footage even before O'Donnell quit show three weeks early (notably, The View had a jump in viewers ONLY one Rosie came aboard. Their argument got so bad:

• the side of America (the 72%+++ majority) that thinks Dizzy Lizzy is one of those real-real right types who thinks like George Bush because they share roughly the same mental capabilities began to insist that Elizabeth was more right (is she ever!) and the victor
• Donald "The Comb-over" Trump (who hates Rosie) called the fight for Omnipotent O'Donnell (which we expected to happen sometime soon after a snowball has cause to melt in Bush's brainpan)
• made some folks wonder if the timing of this fight could have been better picked given that it hit the media most places just as the Memorial Day weekend wound up to speed (wow! serendipity! kismet!), a rightwing woman got center stage defending the troops and the lefty Rosie couldn't stand it and quit.

Wanna bet Hasselbeck gets an invite to a state dinner or even something more casual at the White House, in part to reward her giving Karl Rove the exact perfect message to play JUST AS people try to put this miserable war behind them for three days ?

[I didn't hear, as others insisted they did, that O'Donnell called the troops terrorists; I think it's pretty clear she meant the Bush Administration's orchestration of this, just one of his many wars. And many of us would agree that the Bushies operate far more like terrorists than "freedom fighters".]

Putting The Tit In Titillation & The Mad In Madam

Color me both shocked and awed, with today's revelation that the latest outed client of highly successful Washington D.C. Beltway Madam Pamela Martin, aka Jeane Palfrey is the Bush Administration official who takes most credit for the colorful if not humane blitz on Baghdad known as "shock and awe." [The man here is Harlan Ullman, a Washington Times writer and holier-than-thou military analyst.] This comes after last week when an Assistant Secretary of State named Tobias - one quite uniquely charged with trying to end sex slave practices and promote abstinence for the Bush agenda - admitted he had many times paid $300 for 90-minute "innocent" massages (which of his parts was massaged, however, was not divulged). (Secretary of State Condi Rice must be so very proud of him, too!)

Yet far bigger fish may be joining these two in the proverbial frying pan. After the feds and other cops seized her equipment (cough) and froze all her assets which makes it hard (cough, cough) for the madam to secure an attorney since she has no access to money to massage (choke) a lawyer into accepting her case, the madam decided to engineer a unique type of circle jerk (gag). Specifically, Palfrey handed over 47 pounds of telephone records to ABC News to allow them to do the fancy handjob uh.. footwork to take these telephone numbers and reverse lookup them to find the names of some of the agency's clients.

It may be premature ejaculation (head spins), but tonight's ABC News program 20/20 is expected to at least suggest some of the names they milked (uh... am I going to hell for this?) from their deep penetration including cavity search complete with fisting and application of sharply studded riding crop . (yeah, I'm definitely headed to the hot place - no doubt remains!). Expect this on tonight's 20/20 (10 PM ET) with names to include NASA officials, Defense Department and World Bank bigwigs (my goodness but Paul "Wolfie" Wolfowitz seems to have a ravenous sexual appetite!), hotshot CEOs and lobbyists, ultra-righteous types intent on turning the U.S. into a theocracy as well as some recognizable names from Bush's inner circle . (Hey, I said circle this time and not circle jerk! Get your mind - and other parts of your anatomy please, out of the G-spot gutter, people!)

Three curious side notes:

1. The Bush Administration acts like it's on God's speed dial due to their supreme righteousness yet indications suggest it's many of the Bushies who may be revealed to be Debbie-Does-Dominatrix-Dance clients; many of the Republican lobbyists (aka daytime prostitutes) with the greatest access to the Bushies are expected to be named in this scandal
2. The media is certainly treating this story as a silly and stupid bit of fluff, something to fill the gap between the Anna Nicole Bimbo spectacle and the next time Bush gives yet another reason why we went into Iraq and another definition of what success in Iraq will mean; this is a heluva lot different than the way they treated the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky spectacle
3. Rightwinger John Stossel of ABC News, who has been known to badmouth Clinton for his exploits, has jumped forward to insist this is a victimless crime (probably true in such a case) yet sounding very much like he wants to protect the Bushies and Bush-supporters who may be among the madam's clients when his response is and was quite different when Democrats have been involved in Skanky Monkey Spanking