Just Like I Learned in Journalism School: Dog Bites Man Equals No Story BUT When Woman Bites Pit Bull, There's a Story!

And it's here: the story of the little woman who bit a pit bull defending her dog.

They also used to tell us, besides that if it bleeds, it ledes, that we should never estimate the great interest in the people - especially, if always seemed, American people - to like to get themselves on the news. Sometimes, in anyway possible.

Hey, Healthy People: You Cost TOO Much!

A new report says that healthy people who live longer COST society MORE than smokers and the obese. Oops.

Thankfully, I'm only moderately healthy and will probably die early so I won't cost too much. ;)

Depressed? Well, Just Hold Your Funeral Now, Get Reborn Later

So a company in South Korea - the nation where this "fad" is big - will "stage" a mock funeral, complete with you being boxed and nailed into a coffin for 15-20 minutes, and then help you get "reborn" and happy for only $325 a person.

What a deal!

[Note to self: Apparently South Korea, like Orange County, California, really has TOO much disposable income... and nitwits.]

Mind you, when I studied long and hard working with the grieving and terminal patients, some of the many exercises we did involved our own "deaths" and projection. But the coffin part? A tad bad.

Once More, Proving Charles Darwin RIGHT

Who says natural selection is "just a theory"?

Perhaps not the ghost of this fellow in Hollywood who decided to "slide" down the banister of an escalator in a Hollywood (California) mall.

Man Cuts Off Arm With "Mark of The Beast"?

Huckabee supporter or do you think he'd go for Rudy Giuliani, John McCain, or Fred Thompson? Definitely not a Ron Paul man (though Paul's evolution comment floored me).

A man who believed he bore the biblical "mark of the beast" used a circular saw to cut off one hand, then he cooked it in the microwave and called 911, authorities said.

The man, in his mid-20s, was calm when Kootenai County sheriff's deputies arrived Saturday. He was in protective custody in the mental health unit of Kootenai Medical Center.

"It had been somewhat cooked by the time the deputy arrived," sheriff's Capt. Ben Wolfinger said. "He put a tourniquet on his arm before, so he didn't bleed to death. That kind of mental illness is just sad."

It was not immediately clear whether the man has a history of mental illness.

Hospital spokeswoman Lisa Johnson would not say whether an attempt was
made to attach the hand, citing patient confidentiality.

The Book of Revelation in the New Testament contains a passage in which an angel is quoted as saying: "If anyone worships the beast and his image and receives his
mark on the forehead or on the hand, he, too, will drink the wine of God's fury."

The book of Matthew also contains the passage: "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body
than for you whole body to do into hell."

Why I Worry About Florida Installment #2617

So what kind of fuckup do you need to be to go into a church and abuse a corpse in a coffin?

I mean, besides the kind that elects a Ros-Letinen, a Diaz-Ballert, a Mel Martinez, or a Katherine Harris to office. ::cough::

Your "Laugh" Of The Day

Before I launch into more depressing fare, it's uh... nice? to see that the Chinese can be kinky, too.... I guess:

A Chinese businessman has advertised on the Internet for a stand-in mistress to be beaten up by his wife to vent her anger and to protect his real mistress, Chinese media reported on Monday.

"When the woman found out her husband had a mistress, she insisted on beating her up," the Beijing Youth Daily said, citing the advertisement posted on a popular online jobs forum on sina.com.

More than 10 people had applied for the job, the newspaper said. The "successful" candidate would be 35 and originally from northeastern China and would be paid 3,000 yuan ($400) per 10 minutes, it said.

Many Chinese businessmen keep mistresses in second homes, a trend banished after the Communists swept to power in 1949 but which has made a comeback with market reforms in recent decades.