The Truth Serum Version of Bush's State of the Union Speech Tonight

[Mind you, I don't think truth serum ever was - or is today - Bush's drug of choice ("Want a little noseful more cocaine coke with that whiskey, George?"]

Considering Bush has been known – mature, wise fellow that he is – to flip the finger at press and photographers, a part of me wonders if, on the occasion of his final State of the Union delivery tonight (Monday), he might just tell the truth, certain that no one can do a damned thing about all the misery, injustice, and death he has wrought. God knows the man looks for opportunities to smirk ever more insultingly.

So here's what I think he would say if truth serum were administered to him just before the speech:

Good evening, you pussies and ingrates:I could give you my usual bullshit about how I gotta hard job and I work hard (damned, I say that a heluva lot) but we all know if damned good 'o me to bother to put in eight hours a WEEK between my naps, ball game watching, riding my mountain bikes OVER old ladies, and planning for the vacations I take ev'ry few days.

But anyways... I won't make this long 'cos you don't wanna hear it and frankly, I like to pretend to get into bed real early like so I can hide my drinkin' and druggin' I'd make certain you'd do federal time for. So let's get this sucker over with.

Too effin' bad if you don't like the job I've done; it was never up to you anyway. And mixed in with all the lies was a little truth, anyway. Like when I said I wanted to make America an ownership society – not my fault if you thought YOU would be the owners when I really meant Saudi nationals, wealthy Kuwaitis, and scores of other rich for'ners would come in and buy everythin' up 'cos I made sure you can't afford to breathe.

As for Iraq, boo-frickin-hoo so many have died. At least they're not people I care about. My dumb-as-dirt daughters are just fine and livin' like princesses so I don't give a tinker's damn that your kid is too dumb to get into college 'cos I dumbed down the requirements for public education or 'cos I made sure they can't afford to go on to school. After all, we gotta military recruitment quota to fill and it's not like there are jobs out there for your grown kids to get; and where they can find jobs, I'll make damned well sure they are jobs that can feed a family.

Also, college ain't all its cracked up to be. Just look at me and I went to a bunch of the best effing schools in the country.

Besides, what I got planned for Iran makes Iraq look like a bleepin' Irish wedding by comparison, so I'll need your kids out on the front line with no body armor and few bullets, and not sittin' in some classroom learning liberal crap like Darwinism and math. Don't be thinkin' you can stop me from going to war in Iran either - look at all the shit you've let me get away with!

What'cha gonna do? Impeach me? Muhahahahahahahahaha.

No matter what anybody tells ya, the economy's just FINE. Know how I know that? Cos all my fat cat friends and family are a heluva lot richer now than they were when I first came into office. And if you're a lot poorer because of it, don't look at me. I can't understand how poor people think, like I've said before. And you ought'a see how rich I'll be from sweetheart deals – not to mention my huge tax breaks – once I leave office.

You're gonna be supportin' me and mine for the rest of our effing lives – and trust me, we got a MUCH bigger standard of living than you.

And to those who say I do nothin' but lie, so? It's not like the media cares enough to point 'em out. And if you're watching MY favorite NEWS Network, The Cartoon Network uh.. Fox, then you're too damned stupid to notice my lies any ole way.

In closing, let me tell you something my mama, Bitching Barb, always told us kids: “If you're gonna get screwed, you might as well close your eyes, lie back, pretend to enjoy it, and then charge 'em triple for the honor.”

Now get the F outta here so I can toke. The White House ain't the people's house anymore.. It's MINE, beatch, and I want you GONE. ::insert extra smirk here::

Bush: "To Prove I'm Relevant, I'm Ready To Let Your Sick Kids Suffer!"

Just when you thought it couldn't get anymore bizarre and bastardly at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue....

That Bush thinks he's relevant must be of great comfort to parents of sick kids this president BOASTS he wants kept from any kind of meaningful health care coverage. For a man who proves day in and day out (those few days Dubya bothers to pretend to work, that is), his comment today he is PROUD to veto the Dem-pushed provisions for government-aided health care for children (Ricky Shambles posted powerfully about it here (aka Schipstorm) at All Things Democrat earlier this week) to prove his relevancy as a president reaches a whole new subterranean L-O-W.

I overheard a woman today, a woman I have heard defend Bush right and left (and man, is he ever to the right), an ardent conservative Republican who does not believe in social programs to help anyone who makes less than 100K, completely lose it upon learning of the president's latest lunacy. "How does taking away basic health care from poor kids make him a better president?" she demanded in complete consternation as she literally threw up her hands.

Even this loyal GOPer seemed to see through the ridiculous fog of lies the Bush-buttkissers put up about how rich adults were using the kids' health care and how those from families earning $85K or more were "swindling" the system when people who cannot afford rent and food should pony up $400-800 a month in health premiums. Anyone with half a brain (OK, Bush doesn't qualify even by that lesser standard) has been appalled at the tighty righties' miserable position on this.

If the latest Bushism sounds even worse than the classic Ebenezer Scrooge bit from Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" who, when asked to help the poor at the holiday season, inquires of the do-gooders if the debtors' prisons still operate since his taxes support those institutions, you aren't far from the mark.

Writes Dan Froomkin of The Washington Post on this matter:

Asked how he found himself vetoing a children's health insurance bill that had passed Congress with bipartisan support, Bush insisted that using a veto is "one way to ensure I am relevant."

When a reporter followed up and asked Bush if he felt he was losing leverage and relevance, Bush replied: "I've never felt more engaged and more capable of getting the American people to realize there's a lot of unfinished business."

Which, let's be blunt, is hard to believe.

For seven years now, everything that has come out of Bush & Cheney's mouth has been hard to believe. No, correction: impossible to believe. Nice that they'll take a stand on the fallen bodies of sick kids, eh?

Gives a whole 'nother sick meaning to No Child Left Behind.

Dead Kids? No Problem in Bush's War of Error on Terror

Gee, is this what President Bush meant by "No Child Left Behind"?

Reported on MSNBC by Keith Olbermann: The Bush Administration - supported by a rabid right who will cry long and hard about the "right to life" of barely multi-cell organisms - and the Pentagon now admit that they knew children were in the Afghanistan compound they bombed over the weekend, and decided to bomb anyway, killing at least 7-8 little kids.

While the children died, it seems that our bombs did NOT take out the so-called "high profile" Al Qaeda target they were aiming for. So I guess killing a bunch of toddlers is a "great" moment in the War on Terror.

More Benefit To Corrupt Bushie Friends Than Kids In "No Child Left Behind" Reading Program

Read all about the Justice Department probe of a $6 billion windfall to those providing "reading" materials under Bush's "No Child Left Behind (in a Public School) initiative. Too bad the head of the DoJ, U.S. Attorney Alberto Gonzales, cannot read or make a single decision not surely Bush-profitable and partisan.