3.22.2005

We'll Need Another Excuse

Uh oh. Kofi Annan reports that Syria will meet demands to withdraw from Lebanon completely. This means Mr. Bush will need a new excuse for attacking Syria.

Possibilities include:

    * We need to free them from themselves
    * Only 10-20% of Syria is Christian; Terri Schiavo would want it to be 100% Christian and to ban gay marriage, too
    * We need to bring them democracy in the form of more bad American chain fast food restaurants
    * "But Condi already bought the right boots to wear for announcing the invasion!"
    * We need to do something with the millions of Americans who will respond to the government's generous decision to open the draft...er... the Reserves and Guard to 30+-somethings
    * "The president promised the twins they could run a country into the ground just like dear old dad did."
    * Israel wants us to.