Here's the Enticement You Need to Fly Again

The Airlines decided that what we REALLY want to do on long flights is exercise - you know, that thing lots of us won't do in the comfort of home.

This is just a great idea. I've seen broad-hipped but not obese women have to side step some aisles because the space between is so damned narrow. I had a panic attack in the last plane bathroom I was in because I've seen sardine cans with more room.

Yet the airlines believe they have plenty of room to let you exercise during your flight. For example, you can:

* learn ju-jitsu for tackling out that minister from Jersey you think is a terrorist
* practice standing on your head for the entire flight so the man sitting next to you who is sprawled over 2/3rds of your seat (and you) has more room
* perform abdominal crunches while you're going in and out of the fetal position, praying to assorted Gods that the FAA doesn't accidentally order your plane shot down because it's from a blue state
* do upper body workouts as you have to keep putting your luggage back in the overhead bin when it slips out (as it will again and again and again)
* practice high jumps for getting over seats while kids play in the aisle keeping you from your desperate arrival at the lavatory
* perform ballet when you're left jumping about cross legged because you still haven't reached the bathroom
* wrestling to prepare for what happens when the next security clearance inspector asks if you'll step aside for a deep cavity search, to be conducted by Mr. Ashcroft himself