2.21.2005

Lenten Sacrifices

I know we're almost two weeks into Lent and I know I'm only a former Catholic, but I'm still racking my brain trying to figure out what I should sacrifice for this solemn Lent period.

Among top current considerations are:

    * Giving up flipping the bird during Bush speeches
    * Stop sending Joe Scarborough a daily e-mail asking what happened to his dead intern just before he left Congress
    * Stop shouting "Have yet another cocktail, fuckface" whenever Richard Perle, Peggy Noonan, or Kate O'Beirne appear on TV
    * No longer tabulating how many hungry people could be fed by the Bush twins' daily bar bill
    * No longer counting how many "good family values" GOPers have had three or more marriages or homosexual liaisons (that's hard to keep track of anyway - repressed people are such busy sinners)
    * Stop praying for Colin Powell's soul (considering Iraq and his son, Michael, I think that's a lost cause anyway)
    * Contemplating how much heroin Rush Limbaugh plans to bring back from Afghanistan for personal use
Choices... choices....