People Whose 15 Minutes of Fame Really Expired Years Ago
Please, please go away:
* Jessica ("Is it true that peroxide can leak through to the brain?" Simpering Simpson
* Billy ("I'm just as arrogant, egotistical and no-talent as my cousin") Bush
* The Olsen Twins (proving two is rarely smarter than one)
* Jack ("We have to keep marriage from gays so good, clean, moral, Christian, ultra pious heterosexuals can enjoy kinky sex clubs all by themselves. What do you mean I'm a hypocrite?") Ryan
* Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake (even combining the two, they still don't equal one person)
* Katherine ("They really, really, really hate me! Really.") Harris
* Simon Cowell (if I want people to abuse my intelligence and integrity, I'll call the White House... and what the hell does Simon do in real life besides criticize others?)
* Jennifer ("My ass defies both gravity and the work of two dozen plastic surgeons.") Lo-lo-lopez
* Bill ("Here kitty, kitty") Frist and Tom ("I'm the deep burrowing who escaped my own extermination services") DeLay
* Amber ("Hey, I only have babies with married men and I worked as a masseuse even though I can't spell the word but how can you think I'm a slut?") Frey
* David ("I invented that whole 'axis of evil' thing. Is that cool or what?") Frum
* Oliver ("I'm still milking the flag and the uniform for all they're worth" North
* Paris ("What's an IQ?") Hilton
* Lance Armstrong (He's riding a freaking bicycle for chrissake - he isn't a hero for mankind)
* Tiger Wolf (See Lance Armstrong but insert a tiny little expensive ball)
* The people who decided good TV was do non-stop interviews with OJ to rehash the 10th anniversary of the murders
People you just wish would get successful therapy and then stay out of your face:
* Prince
* Madonna
* Oprah (I'd rather have electroshock therapy while taking a bath with slime eels than watch an hour of her show)
People you wish would get successful therapy, stay out of your face, and perhaps do prison time:
* George and Dick
* Richard Perle and William Bennett
* Michael Jackson
* Tom DeLay (I know. I listed him twice. It's my list. I can do what I want.)
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