3.17.2007

Khalid Sheikh Muhammed Was One Busy Boy!

I was going to write up something similar to what Jon Ponder already did, so let me bring you this from Pensito Review:

Facing scandals and controversies everywhere it looks, the Bush Administration released a confession yesterday made over a month ago by Khalid Sheikh Mohammed — one of dozens of Osama bin Laden’s “number two” men:
    “I was responsible for the 9/11 Operation, from A to Z.” He also confessed orchestrating the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and so-called shoe bomber Richard Reid’s December 2001 bid to “down two American airplanes.” Many of the plots Mohammed … took credit for planning never occurred, but were of a similarly grand scale as the September 11 attacks. Mohammed said that he plotted second wave attacks targeting U.S. skyscrapers like the Empire State Building and the Sears Tower, as well as the assassinations of Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, Pope John Paul II, and Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf.
Other crimes he confessed to, according to humorist Don Imus, included the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and the character of J.R. on the soap opera, “Dallas,” in the 1980s. Another cynic suggests he also confessed to the Watergate burglaries, stealing all the “W” keys off White House computers in the early days of the Bush Administration, killing Chandra Levy, causing the slow federal response to Hurricane Katrina, as well as forcing Scooter Libby to lie to the FBI, firing eight U.S. Attorneys last December and being the “third party” who has caused problems in the Bushes’ marriage.

What? KSM hasn't yet admitted to:

  • the anthrax scare?
  • the Y2K virus?
  • Microsoft Bob (now there's a reference few will know!)?
  • Britney Spears shaving her head?
  • the success of Paris Hilton (ick poo)?
  • Bush's failure to satisfy his National Guard requirements?
  • Bush choking on pretzels, falling off scooters and bikes, et al?
  • the success of Wal-Mart as a way of costing American jobs?
  • most of Imus' pathetic material?