Personal Observation

I hate to say this and it's almost a clique but... in my experience, it's more true than not that those most apt to sabotage women are other women. As a sex, I think we're both capable of greater range and greatness as a whole than men, yet we're also often the gender that argues most for its limitations.

Now, to be fair, I've mostly worked in almost entirely male dominated jobs. Most of my work - exceptly that done remotely - has not involved working on a peer-to-peer level with other women. And, of course, not all women sabotage other women. I daresay most don't. But in my own experience, for every 1 in 20 males who tries to be sure they let me know they think I'm somehow less than them because I'm female, I'd say maybe 3 in 20 females make it clear they think all of us as women are inferior to men.

I'm reminded of this because of that post on Big Brass Blog about the Homemakers of America. Now, I'm not especially threatened by this group nor do I think there is anything intrinsically wrong with a woman - or a man - choosing to devote her/himself to the family. You might be surprised at how much I perform that role around my own home even though I'm an extremely busy professional woman. Nurture is just my nature, so while I won't take the time to eat one or two meals a day because I've got too much work to do, I stop working for a period of time each day just to make meals for my family.

But I do think there's a certain slipped circuit when someone says, "I recognize I'm the lesser of my mate and it really wouldn't matter who my mate is; since I'm female, the man is always my better."

When I was still quite young, the women's movement was still quite new. Growing up, I heard all the crap about women being less (from my mother and grandmother who both had to work to put food on the table, no less) but I figured it was simply the remnants of the old way of thinking and that the next generation wouldn't buy into this crap. But clearly, I was wrong. Many females half my age - and younger - buy into the old stereotypes just as strongly as my mother and grandmother did.

Are men and women different? Oh yes. Some of these differences don't have anything (much) to do with stereotypes. But different doesn't mean unequal. Part of it has to do with the very different ways boys and girls develop emotionally. Men are taught to set boundaries, to compete, and to see themselves as unique entities while women form a sense of their identity chiefly as it relates to those around them. Some of these differences have blurred over the past 30 years, but not as many as you might expect.