Tom DeLay's Bake Sale

The General is writing letters again, this one to Mr. Virtues (aka Tom DeLay):

Dear Majority Leader DeLay,

Things haven't been easy for you lately. You're being attacked on every quarter by those who wish to destroy you. These days, it seems that your name cannot be spoken or written without words like "corrupt," "unethical," "vile," or "toad-faced-graft-maggot" being attached to it. I think that I can help you change that. All we need to do is soften your image. I have a plan to do just that.

As you may have heard, an Oklahoma house committee approved a bill, yesterday, to create a specialty license plate to raise money to buy body armor for Oklahomans serving in combat. You could do something similar to help soldiers from the other 49 states.

Don't worry. I'm not requesting any legislation from you. You've already made it clear through your lack of action that you don't think it's proper for the government to provide body armor for the troops. Instead, I think you ought to organize a bake sale.

You know, I don't think I'd enjoy Tom's cupcakes and especially not his nut brownies. But I, of course, defer to the General as he is a great, French-defiling patriot.