The Maple Papal

Out of a certain sense of decorum, I've decided to wait until Monday before I begin campaigning loudly to become the next Pope. However, as you can see from the title of this posting, I've already coined an appropriate catchy-but-dim phrase (The Maple Papal) for said candidacy. See this archived post for a quick summary of my platform.

I've already been in contact with Diebold's Smoke and Mirrors division to rig the vote turning black smoke to white at the key time. Thankfully, they don't do exit polling for the conclave voting so I won't have to weakly explain the irregularities between presumed and actual votes which might lead some hopelessly deluded people (read: anyone capable of thought) to question whether some electoral hanky/panky has been played (of course not and don't make me call Noni Scalia on you).

[Ed note: See? There is something to be learned from the GOP playbook.]