Who Knew Guantanamo Bay Was More Fun than Summer Camp

From Wonkette, I found this link to Howard ("I'm just a whore for the right wing") Kaloogian's Move Forward America blog where Dom Giordano tells us that Gitmo is one big barbecue, field trip, and fruit basket. Who knew?

But I was in Guantanamo for three days last week, and I saw something very different. I concluded that, at Gitmo, we extract information from prisoners not by torture but by developing rapport with them. It involves amenities. Full rolls of toilet paper. Fruit baskets. A field trip barbecue. I talked to prisoners, visited cell blocks, surveyed their medical care, interviewed the base commander and chief interrogator on my show, and allowed callers to probe them with questions. My research extended to the officers who escorted me to breakfast and lunch - even to times when all parties were well lubricated at the Tiki Bar.

The leadership at Gitmo is much more disciplined and focused than the leadership of Maj. Gen. Janis Karpinski at Abu Ghraib appears to have been. Soldiers at Gitmo say they are repulsed by the photos and stories from Abu Ghraib. Senior staff told me of strict patrols of the prison to make sure all is being done properly.

Another great contrast with Abu Ghraib was the interrogator I met at Camp Delta. She was fluent in Arabic and talked about various ways she was able to reach prisoners. She's not leading anyone around in a dog collar.

One story probably summarized best what I saw at Gitmo. I was sitting in a chair in one of the interrogation rooms at Camp Delta when the chief interrogator told me the chair wheels were one of their greatest tools. Some sort of torture device? No: The wheels let interrogators slide in closely to bond with prisoners when they believe they are telling the truth and move away when they are lying.

This mentality is the legacy of Maj. Gen. Jeffrey Miller, who is accused of taking his "brutal" tactics from Gitmo to Iraq and causing the prison scandal. I can't know what Miller did in Iraq, but I think most of us would find the system he put in place in Gitmo as humane and fair treatment for captured Taliban and al-Qaeda members. In fact, a number of my listeners felt the treatment was too good for people we have reason to believe are among the worst of the terrorists.

Wonkette puts it best when she comments:

Maybe it's just because there's something about having the words "fruit basket," "probe" and "lubricated" so close together, but we understand now: When the Army said it wanted Abu Ghraib "Gitmoized," they clearly meant redecorated. A little mix-up there, but so understandable: Who hasn't had a "field trip barbecue" suddenly become "forced masturbation"? Just be careful to keep the spicier sauces out of reach.