The General Writes Friends in High Places

General JC Christian is flexing some of his glorious righteousness to solicit help from God's favorite disciple, Hot Tub Tom DeLay, for a very special problem.

Dear Rep. DeLay,I don't know how closely you watch the California Legislature, but an important battle over moral values is underway there now. Wicked, French-minded legislators have introduced a bill that would provide condoms to convicts. A single man of God, Benjamin Lopez of The Traditional Values Coalition, stands between them and rampant prison immorality. He argues that such a program would lead to a rampage of rogering so furious it'll prompt Jeff Gannon to apply for a California Penal System contract.

Heh.