Jersey Man Carves Runaway Bride's Image on Toast

Gee, does he have too much time on his hands?

A man has made the case of runaway Georgia bride Jennifer Wilbanks the toast of eBay. Perry Lonzello, 48, says he carved a rudimentary drawing of Wilbanks on a piece of toasted Wonder Bread and posted it on eBay on a whim.

"I just carved it on there real quick and put it on there as a joke," Lonzello told the Daily Record of Parsippany for Friday's newspapers.

As of about 5 p.m. Friday, Lonzello's eBay posting had 134,300 visits and 111 bids made on the toast, with a top bid of $15,400. Bidding closes Sunday.

Well, Wonder Bread is appropriate for this twit of a woman: looks like bread but without any nutritional value. But I wouldn't even take the time to cross the street to kick some sense into her ass, where she perhaps hides her brain.

And in the silly details department, did you hear that Jennifer Wilbanks - in her fourth non-apology apology - has said part of her worries stemmed from the fact that she and her intended groom (who became a "born again virgin" in his church) had never had sex? They lived together but platonically.

Can you imagine how fast she'll run once she finally sees his penis? Twit. And yes, it's twit. Not that similarly spelled word that I'm sure Ms. Wilbanks is not familiar with.