Novak: "I'm on a Mission from God"

What the fuck is Robert Novak putting in his prune martinis these days? Hasn't someone told him NOT to mix prune martinis with his Vioxx and Oxycontin? Surely Rush Lamehog should have warned him (but Rush is probably too busy mainlining heroin from his recent taxpayer-paid trip to Aghanisbushfuckedusupistan.

He's been known for 40 years as Washington's journalistic "prince of darkness," but cranky, arch-conservative pundit Bob Novak believes he's doing God's work.

"I'm trying to tell the truth and taking positions that I hope are godly positions, positions that I hope are helpful to my fellow man," he tells Vanity Fair in a profile that hits the stands tomorrow. "And I don't think there's any law against enjoying myself in the process."

The 74-year-old columnist and CNN commentator remains mum on a great mystery of the moment: his legal status in the Valerie Plame leak case. "While two other reporters, Matthew Cooper of Time and Judith Miller of the New York Times, face jail time for refusing to divulge their sources in the case," writes VF contributing editor David Margolick, "the man who broke the story apparently doesn't."