Jeffy Baby, You're Not Only Man Candy, You're Delusional

[Ed note: an open letter to Jeff Gannon.]

"So feared by the Left, they had to take me down."

That's what you say on your blog, where you say you've returned. Fear? You?

I have to say that having read your blog, I understand why you just copied WH press releases. You're about as articulate as Ronald Reagan in the last decade of his life and just about as smart as Reagan during the last 40 years of his life, meaning..not much. Please don't confuse loathsome (you) with fearsome (not you).

You're not loathsome because you sought out men to pay you for sex. Whores are a dime a dozen and not just in escort services (there's banking, advertising, lobbying, politics, ad infinitum).

Nor are you loathsome because you're sort of like Ann Coulter (except I have to say you're definitely prettier with less facial hair) - dressing up in all those cute outfits to spew hatred.

You're not even loathsome because you allowed Karl Rove to fuck you in the ass and then tried to make us believe he promised to marry you to make an honest woman out of you.

No, you're loathsome because - as someone who apparently hates himself so badly that you cannot tell the truth, distinguish the truth and certainly not report the truth - you have to attack people very much like you. Think Roy Cohn (but you'll probably have to look him up in an encyclopedia based on the level of intelligence displayed on your blog).

The very best thing I can say about you Jeffy Baby is that I pity you... and that's also the worst thing I can say about anyone. I reserve pity for people who just can't be redeemed.

Sweetheart, let me give you a little helpful advice. The advancing stages of syphilis - sadly, on the rise in these dark Bush times in which abstinence and ignorance is supposed to replace wisdom, public health, and adequate health care - often includes the kind of delusions you're printing. The brain - and let's face it, your brain may never have been your strongest or most developed organ - literally begins to poison everything when you're as deeply infected as you are. Rabies might be worse, but it's a lot shorter.

Get yourself help soon because such a sexually transmitted disease is a very horrible way to die.

Of course, I don't think I'd want to live were I you.. and that, thank you Jesus!, I will never be.