Red Alert! Help! Alert The Masses! There IS A Shortage of Sperm!

No, really. The BBC would not lie either. There's a shortage of sperm.

OK, it's just a shortage of sperm donated to In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) clinics, but it's still a damned shame! Think of the tons of this stuff spilled into facial tissue and socks each and every day.

Oh, the humanity!