Ann Coulter and Michael Jackson Should Marry

I'm just tossing this out as an idea. They're both lean, the same age (just because Ann lies about her age doesn't mean I must), and both have had substantial work done to look like what men look like after they have surgery to look like a woman.

Michael could teach Ann to be patient, to love the children, to appreciate beauty in all things (especially if they cost millions and appeal to someone no older than about age 9), to be generous, and to say nice things, while Ann could teach Michael how to be a succubus, who wears the mini-skirts in the family, how to drain the blood from the brains of people, proper uses for a riding crop and taser gun, and teach him profanity.

Plus think of how attractive their children would be. Ann won't let them be named "Blanket" either. She'll insist on good non-treasonous American names like Grover, Scooter, Newt, and Kenny Boy.