Jesus' General Writes Virginian Who Tells Blacks To "Get Over Slavery"

The General has, as always, been busy. I was thinking of writing this idiot bastard from the Virginia House of ReprobatesDelegates to protest his comments telling blacks to get over slavery, while also saying something like, "It's like asking Jews to apologize for killing Jesus." [Er... why do I suspect Frank the Wank Hargrove really does want this apology, too?)]

Then I saw Jesus' best, most heterosexual (not to mention manliest, general had beat me to it:

Frank Hargrove
Virginia House of Delegates

Dear Delegate Hargrove,

I salute you, sir. It takes a lot of courage to stand up on Martin Luther King Day and tell the brown people of your state that they just need to get over that whole slavery thing. That's especially true in these times when the white Christian male suffers from so much persecution.

That act alone is enough to earn you a spot in local heritage appreciation society's Great Hall of Kleagles. But you didn't stop there; you went on to indict the Jews for murdering Jesus. It was a shrewd move on your part. By doing so, you angered one of the Jewish delegates, causing him to accidentally betray their greatest weakness, a weakness you then immediately announced to the world: Jews have thin skin.

Now that you know their weakness, you can use it against them. All you need to do is take your brown people whacker--the stick you use to beat uppity brown people when they try to drink from your water fountains or complain about the deer heads you stuff in their mail boxes--and turn it into a Jew poker, just like the ones your ancestors used in the old country.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot