The Whole "Hero" Thing

OK, I'm going to become the first person to go against everyone else who isn't so charmed with either a) the way the Atlanta courthouse thing got blown way up and b) our new media darling, Ashley, the hostage.

First, there's a $60,000 reward that was posted for someone leading to the capture of the guy known to have killed three and believed to have killed a fourth. Today, I kept hearing that they want to give Ashley the reward for being such a hero. Ashley instantly has a team of lawyers and media people (apparently she expects to have one of those dumb twins play here in the movie of her courageous life). GMA and Today actually had a war going on over who got Ashley's new dress on screen first. With each telling of her story, Ashley's account seemed to grow (she's not only saved Atlanta, America, and the rest of mankind, but she single handedly convinced the perpetrator of her devoted motherhood, saved him by witnessing Jesus upon him, helped him understand the American judicial system).

Now the media has joined her telling America she really DID save America - you know, in trying to keep herself alive, something many hostages might try - and deserves the $60,000 award and should get a medal from the President.

We use the word hero way too loosely, which means we don't recognize true heros appropriately. I'm not at all saying she wasn't through an ordeal. But what the fuck is wrong with the media/us when we turn somebody like Ashley into an extremely sought-after, well paid, world recognized hero?

The media doesn't get the total blame here, although they whipped up the frenzy on Friday. It was their BIG story of the week. (I mean, how many nights can you hear about Michael Jackson masturbating during the dinner news and still have the requisite shock?)

But if people had turned off the dial on Friday - as a lot of us did - we wouldn't be consumed with Ashley. Saving your life doesn't usually mean a huge check, a staff of 30, and a book/movie deal. Unless you're the new media darling. And with her staff of consultants, we'll still be talking about Ashley long after she uses some of the sixty thousand to do up those dark roots and hopes Jesus forgives her for blowing $30K in Vegas whereupon the media will do a new story on her about her recovery from hitting the bottom.

Then Michael Jackson will start sleeping with puppies and we'll be talking about that endlessly (especially Rick Santorum - for such a righteous rightie he spends an enormous amount of time discussing bestiality).

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go beg somebody to take me hostage so I can make my mortgage payment this month. Cough.