The Real American Idol Winner

Fantasia didn't win the other night.

The American public won because that awful show's over for another season. I'll celebrate this momentous occasion just as I celebrate the end of football season and the passing of a festering skin rash.

I'm saying this because I was just chatting with a friend who's addicted to crap like this and this 40-year-old man actually said to me that it would be very painful for him to have to wait a whole season for both American Idol and Survivor to return. If there isn't a Betty Ford Clinic to help you overcome problems like that, there damned well should be.

I don't watch so-called reality TV shows because I'm an elitist. I don't watch them because they're unabashed crap. Reality? They've got as much to do with reality as a Bush campaign speech.

P.S. And I really hate "Everybody Loves Raymond", too. Now where's the goddamned TV remote so I can turn on a Seinfeld rerun I've seen 400 times?