America's Worst Mother - Next Installment

TBogg is in rare form today with his weekly take-off on Meghan Gurdon's drivvel fest from NRO (don't read Meghan's column - TBogg's is always infinitely better written and a heluva lot funnier):

There is nothing more annoying than hearing an upper-middle class stay-at-home suburban mom whine about how hard it is to raise her children when there are millions of working moms (including single-parent working moms) who daily manage the feat without letting their brood turn into a pack of slavering scavengers. But it reminds us that there are two important lessons to be learned here:

1. Don't have more kids than you can handle. With rare exceptions (the Santorum family comes to mind), human children do not come in litters. There is a reason for that. Birth control is widely available and if you can't avail yourself, practice the rhythm method, but only if you keep a beat. Besides, if you have too many kids too close together you end up looking like this which is nature's way of warning men off.

2. Teach your children well. You're the mommy. You make the rules. Enforce them. You've probably had years of practice with the daddy, and look how well he's turned out. A time-out, a stern word, a threatening glance, or a well-placed burst of pepperspray can turn even the most uncontrollable child into a docile little angel...once the screaming and face-rubbing on the carpet has concluded.

These are proven rules. One need only look at how well I turned out...