More Army National Guard Spam

For some reason that totally escapes me, I now get Army National Guard spam about twice a week. As I noted in this blog before, I'm not exactly an ideal candidate and no, not just because I'm allergic to guns and the idea of working anyplace where Mr. Bush is Commander in Chief (in flight suit only) is abhorrent to me.

Actually, while in college, I went with a male friend who was considering the national guard. Somehow, I got dragged into the spiel at the recruitment office. But while my friend - who had really poor grades, a tendency toward violence (I think he even got hot headed with the recruiter), and kept asking hopefully if they would issue him a gun as part of his commitment - was told he could become a great leader in no time, the recruiter told me - who did already have management experience, was on the Dean's list, and seemingly more committed to actually performing service - I had a brilliant future in a steno pool. The recruiter even made it abundantly clear that the main difference he saw between my male friend and myself was that my friend was... uh... male, and thus more desirable.

So it's fascinating that ALL these many years later, I seem to be on their target list.

Now, before you read on and think I don't respect the military, that would be wrong. I do see a role for the military, and I appreciate the commitment that many people offer to it and to this country. My main problem is the way they're often employed (think Vietnam, Panama, Iraq) as pawns by our political leaders to achieve goals that really have nothing to do with the protection of America.

With this in mind, here's the Spam, and my response (in green) to it:

Check it out ... we've got a free T-shirt and DVD reserved just for you. No obligations. Why?

I assume it's a) because you're desperate and b) because my tax dollars are funding the t-shirt and DVD.

Because we think you're leadership material, and we'd like you to be a leader for us.

OK, now I know you're desperate. But then, some people think Mr. Bush is a credible leader.

As a leader in the Army National Guard, you'll get the respect of dedicated soldiers who will look to you for direction and motivation.

So dedicated soldiers who earn even less than I would will look up to me, who is 5'2 and think's the only direction Mr. Bush and Mr. Rumsfeld are taking this military in is the wrong one? I think these soldiers deserve better, don't you? And frankly, the problem with the guard, and with the rest of the military, isn't that soldiers don't respect one another. It's that the Capitol Hill - who doesn't donate many of their own children to the cause - and the government as a whole - and this president in particular - don't respect the soldiers. They've done nothing but cut services and programs and benefits while sending more and more into harm's way.

You'll also get career training, money for college and opportunities to develop management skills - plus special training to prepare you for advanced positions.

Well, except for the facts that I have a career, finished college, and already have management skills, that's all fine and good. But I notice you don't mention the fact that many of the reservists and guards have been sent into battle without protective gear. Apparently, the enemy is supposed to know the difference between a "real" soldier and a reservist, so they won't shoot at the reservists. Eeek.

Most Guard members train part-time, so they're ready to respond if their community or their country needs them.

Really? Tell that to the guards and reservists who've been in Iraq working 18 hours a day, 7 days a week, for more than a year now while their businesses at home went bankrupt. I'm afraid they believed this story, too. And they're paying a dear price.

The Guard offers flexible Officer programs that can help you stay in school or let you work full-time.

Ah. So I can work full-time at my job from Baghdad in between getting my ass shot out from under me? What a deal! And I won't even be serving my country... just Halliburton and GE!
Shudder.