Mr. Bush, You Might Want to Have...

that abstinence discussion with your daughter, Barbara. Or perhaps pelvis grinding dances in public are part of the abstinence plan?

Remember, do as your president demands, and not how he and his do themselves.

The irony? If Babs gets knocked up, a very nice private abortion listed as a simple, benign GYN procedure will be made available to her, and John Ashcroft won't subpoena that record.