Reality TV Bytes...er... Bites... er...

Last week, I had the unfortunate opportunity, while visiting with a friend, to watch my first ever segment of a reality TV show.

I mean it. I've never watched one of these before ever. From the promos alone presented on what television I do see (and except for news, I'm not much of a TV person), I'd rather snack on ground glass, walk over hot coals, or have a colonoscopy without benefit of sedation that watch one of these programs.

They're always far from reality. The situations presented are almost always strange and bizarre and twisted (ok, the twisted part sounds like real life) and have no bearing on reality. Most of the people chosen for these shows remind you that some people will do anything for money or notoriety and have decided that eating a horse rectum or trying to survive in a bug-infested jungle for a few weeks beats actually applying themselves anywhere.

I'll spare you the details of how it came to pass that I had to watch, but suffice it to say that my virginity - as it relates to "reality tv", ahem - got broken by the Donald Trump-based program, The Apprentice. Donald Trump is one of the few people in the world about whom, if you asked me, "Would you rather eat a diseased horse rectum or spend time with him?", I'd think it over for a second or two but most likely pick the horse rectum. The Donald creeps me out, and we're not just talking that hair and his endless self-promotion. Thus, having him appear on this one reality TV episode I've seen was like being doubly damned.

What's made the experience worse for me is that everywhere I turn this week - even on so-called legitimate news programs - all I see is the woman who got fired from "The Apprentice"-ship last week, a tall, highly attractive, articulate, poised African American woman named Omarosa. The interesting thing is that The Donald's ego is perhaps only matched by Omarosa's. She's played every program this week, from early morning news to late night talk - and tonight, she did Hardball - and told everyone how superior she is to everyone else.

Tonight, for example, we were treated to the fact that she is writing a book and developing her own talk show as well as her own product line of clothing. What, pray tell, might this woman have to say to fill a whole book? I have no idea. I got the impression she didn't learn much on "The Apprentice". In fact, I suspect Omarosa's pretty sure she knows everything in every situation. And if she has a talk show, I'd assume she would be her only guest each day because who could possibly be more interesting to speak with than herself?

These several paragraphs are my long-winded way of asking this one simple question: what's the [bleep]-ing fascination with this kind of programming?