Putting The Tit In Titillation & The Mad In Madam

Color me both shocked and awed, with today's revelation that the latest outed client of highly successful Washington D.C. Beltway Madam Pamela Martin, aka Jeane Palfrey is the Bush Administration official who takes most credit for the colorful if not humane blitz on Baghdad known as "shock and awe." [The man here is Harlan Ullman, a Washington Times writer and holier-than-thou military analyst.] This comes after last week when an Assistant Secretary of State named Tobias - one quite uniquely charged with trying to end sex slave practices and promote abstinence for the Bush agenda - admitted he had many times paid $300 for 90-minute "innocent" massages (which of his parts was massaged, however, was not divulged). (Secretary of State Condi Rice must be so very proud of him, too!)

Yet far bigger fish may be joining these two in the proverbial frying pan. After the feds and other cops seized her equipment (cough) and froze all her assets which makes it hard (cough, cough) for the madam to secure an attorney since she has no access to money to massage (choke) a lawyer into accepting her case, the madam decided to engineer a unique type of circle jerk (gag). Specifically, Palfrey handed over 47 pounds of telephone records to ABC News to allow them to do the fancy handjob uh.. footwork to take these telephone numbers and reverse lookup them to find the names of some of the agency's clients.

It may be premature ejaculation (head spins), but tonight's ABC News program 20/20 is expected to at least suggest some of the names they milked (uh... am I going to hell for this?) from their deep penetration including cavity search complete with fisting and application of sharply studded riding crop . (yeah, I'm definitely headed to the hot place - no doubt remains!). Expect this on tonight's 20/20 (10 PM ET) with names to include NASA officials, Defense Department and World Bank bigwigs (my goodness but Paul "Wolfie" Wolfowitz seems to have a ravenous sexual appetite!), hotshot CEOs and lobbyists, ultra-righteous types intent on turning the U.S. into a theocracy as well as some recognizable names from Bush's inner circle . (Hey, I said circle this time and not circle jerk! Get your mind - and other parts of your anatomy please, out of the G-spot gutter, people!)

Three curious side notes:

1. The Bush Administration acts like it's on God's speed dial due to their supreme righteousness yet indications suggest it's many of the Bushies who may be revealed to be Debbie-Does-Dominatrix-Dance clients; many of the Republican lobbyists (aka daytime prostitutes) with the greatest access to the Bushies are expected to be named in this scandal
2. The media is certainly treating this story as a silly and stupid bit of fluff, something to fill the gap between the Anna Nicole Bimbo spectacle and the next time Bush gives yet another reason why we went into Iraq and another definition of what success in Iraq will mean; this is a heluva lot different than the way they treated the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky spectacle
3. Rightwinger John Stossel of ABC News, who has been known to badmouth Clinton for his exploits, has jumped forward to insist this is a victimless crime (probably true in such a case) yet sounding very much like he wants to protect the Bushies and Bush-supporters who may be among the madam's clients when his response is and was quite different when Democrats have been involved in Skanky Monkey Spanking