The White House's Suspect 12 Hours

While the rest of us speculate on what happened during the 12 hours between the time now Atty General Alberto Gonzales (then WH legal counsel) alerted the WH they would have to turn over details relevant to the investigation into the outing of CIA covert operative Valerie Plame Wilson and the time they actually began to release any details, Jesus' favored General gives us the facts (ma'am, and nothing BUT the facts).

Here's a start, but go read the divine missive in its glorious, righteous entirety:

8:00 pm - Pastor General Ashcroft calls Gonzales, informing him of the investigation.

Our Leader is preparing for his nightly meeting with the Lord by smearing his body with bacon grease and downing a quart of NyQuil.

Karl Rove is holding his hand over a candle to prove that he's tougher than G. Gordon Liddy.

Scooter Libby is waxing Deputy Leader Cheney's back.

8:01 pm - The Special Political Electronic Surveillance team patches Karl Rove into the audio portion of the call. He immediately begins drafting a plan to safeguard important evidence.

8:10 pm - Gonzales informs White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card.

8:15 pm - Card notifies the White House and Vice Presidential staffs via Blackberry, asking them to preserve the evidence.

8:30 pm - Our Leader places his face into the Mighty Tony Llama Boot of the Lord and asks God when he's going to supply him with flower-throwing, liberated Iraqis. God chuckles and punches him in the arm.