Or as Wonkette Writes, "Bush: Pure as the Driven SnortSnow

I'll second this, too! Although Bush hasn't caused me to drink, I've sure wished I liked alcohol better. From Wonkette:

So Kitty Kelly's new book rehashes some of the more pharmacological conspiracy theories about the Bush family, which even Drudge has to admit is more interesting than Hurricane Frances. How come the nutty allegations damaging to Kerry's campaign make him sound like a two-faced quasi-coward, but the stuff that's potentially damaging to Bush's campaign makes him sound like someone we'd want to party with? Kerry shoots himself. Uhm, not only painful, but kind of hard to do! As for Bush: Drunk driving, snorting coke while your old lady tokes up and runs over ex-boyfriends? Now that's a fun weekend! And as for the classmate that laments, "Poor Georgie. He couldn't relate to women unless he was loaded." Well, we find it being loaded makes it much easier for us to relate to George! Bush may have gotten through the last four years sober (emphasis on the "may"), but we sure couldn't have.

We have no idea if these allegations are true or not. We really don't care. But let's say that they're probably as true as, dunno, the Swift Boat Vet ads. Let's just hope the media treats them that way.